Birthday Parties

Phew. The end of the school term is soon upon us, which means that we get a couple of months off from what sometimes seems (but probably actually isn't) the endless stream of children's birthday party invitations. Granted, all three of my children have their birthdays at this time of year, but their school friends also seem to have a glut of birthdays on the run up to summer too. Or perhaps I'm just imagining it?

Birthday parties around here seem to follow the same routine that they do in England, that is, you send out invitations to all the little darling's friends telling them where your house is and when to turn up, with possibly an RSVP slip on the bottom so that you have some clue as to how many fairy cakes to bake. Or, if you'd prefer not to have blackcurrant juice stains all over your nice cream coloured shag-pile carpet, then you can of course hire a venue. The venues here typically offer a "menu" of services providing entertainment of some form, party food, and for the top end packages, photographs of the children having lots of fun. There are indoor "soft play" venues, arts and craft venues and even outdoor venues offering "Adventures In The Trees" for those children who would rather climb a tree than a coloured scaffold covered in netting. Of course the up-sides and down-sides of this approach to organising your children's birthday party is immediately obvious. On the plus side, you don't have to spend hours making sandwiches, blowing up balloons, organising party games, wrapping up prizes in layer after layer of brightly coloured paper or hiding treasures in the garden to be hunted out. A staffed venue will do all that for you in advance. (Well, maybe not the treasure hunt bit.) And the downside is, of course, that all this delegation of responsibility to provide the children's fun and food costs a little more money than doing it yourself.

"Hang on a minute though," I hear you say, "What is so quintessentially Portuguese about this? We have these venues in Blighty." Well, of course you do. My own children had been to some of them when we lived in the UK. The difference here is that these venues exclusively operate to run birthday parties. In Blighty the venues are inevitably open to the public and the children attending your child's birthday party are set free to play alongside the mass of other children that are there to simply play and then ushered at lunchtime into the party room to eat. In Portugal, there is no admittance to the general public. There may well be a significant number of parties being run concurrently, overlapping, making full use of each station of supervised activity, but the venue is booked on the basis that every child through the door has an invitation to a party, will play, will be entertained and then will have some food. I used to think that it was a bit strange. These venues must surely be missing a trick? They'd make more money if they allowed the general public in too, wouldn't they? Well, I'm not so sure. The venues do seem to be better staffed, with the staff seeming to have the remit that they are there to not just keep the children safe, but also to make sure that they have fun. On more than one occasion I have been to these places and the staff have been actively engaged in encouraging children to participate. In England this never seemed to be the case. The staff always seemed to simply be there to stand guard, to stop the bigger kids form climbing the slides the wrong way or perhaps clear tables from the cafe area. Nobody ever seemed to be employed to simply help the children enjoy themselves.

So it all seems to be a good thing right? Well except for the extra expense, yes it seems to be. What I haven't quite figured out yet is whether or not it is expected that parents stay around to help out? Certainly in England when my children have been invited to a venue for a party it is assumed that the parent will stay, and sit at one side away from the children drinking coffee and chatting the afternoon away. Strangely, this doesn't seem to be the case here. One may be forgiven for assuming that in a country where there is a strong "cafe culture" that that is exactly what would happen. But no. It seems that the vast majority of parents drop their children off at these venues, leave their mobile number at the desk and then disappear, only to return to pick the children up later after the festivities have ended. Again though, it seems that many of these parents are thinking one step ahead and spend this time away from their children very effectively (and also somewhat cunningly) at the toy shop buying the very gift that they intend to present to the birthday boy or girl upon their return. Talk about slick!

Two different cultures with two very different views. Advantages and disadvantages to both. But does it really matter? Do the kids care either way, as long as they enjoy the day? Probably not. Last year my kids got to invite their friends to our house, played pass the parcel and then they all had a wonderful time stuffing their faces with cake. This year we elected to go for the venue option, they invited their friends to come, had lots of fun and finished by stuffing their faces with cake. Next year? Well who knows? One things for sure, by then I really ought to learn how get past the second line of "Happy Birthday" in Portuguese!